just wondering?

why is it when we work so hard at giving the best to our children they throw the worst back at us? Just wondering? By the best, I mean - trying to teach them to be the best at what they do, chosing the best, being kind, cheerful and helpful? And the worst - if they mess up it's our fault - if they have an undesirable trait it's been passed to them from our gene-pool. Sorry, just had to throw that out there - my mood has passed and everything is cheery again.

March 2011

Today is Fast Sunday - One young man (I almost wrote little boy because I remember him as a little boy) bore his testimony. He just turned 12 and was ordained to be a deacon. He said "my mom said this morning 'It's Fast Sunday' and my first thought was 'Oh, good, I get to bear my testimony' instead of 'Oh, drat, I can't eat anything until lunch'." I haven't been on here at all lately because our son CM just came home from his 2-year mission for our church. He served in the New Hampshire Manchester mission and spent time in Maine, Vermont and New Hampshire. Whenever I would tell people about him serving a mission - then answering the question "oh, Where did he go" - I would wonder what their thoughts were about that. One lady last month told me of her daughter who went on a 2 week mission to Venezula and how much she learned and grew to appreciate the prosperity her family had. I think that is what most people think of when they hear the word mission - humanitarian aid missions. Well, our son served for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints. In fact, today in Sunday School, we had a lesson about missionary work. The Lord's church has always been a missionary or procelyting church. But what is procelyting? Well, that is just what CM has been doing for 2 years now. It is teaching people about Jesus Christ and the gospel which He taught when He lived on the earth. When a person is truly converted to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, they change their life to be a follower of Jesus - and go about doing good as He did. That is one way in which the world can be changed for good. When we are true Christians, we reach out and help others, we are happy and we look for ways to improve the world around us. People everywhere are in need of hearing the Gospel of Jesus Christ, whether they live in a country which is a Christian country or they have never even heard of Jesus Christ. I have made a goal to make myself a better Christian everyday in some way. Mostly it is in my relationship with my family, but also in the impression I leave on other people I meet - whether it is a conversation with the baglady at the grocery store or a nod as I pass someone walking on the street. I love the commercial (I think it is for an insurance company), where someone does something nice for another person - and it is actually someone else observing the act who then turns around to do a kind act for someone who has a need. Well, my thoughts are all jumbled. I can give the excuse of it being fast sunday - In our church we have one sunday every month where we fast - or go without food for 24 hours or 2 meals. We donate the money we would have used on groceries to a fund which is used for helping people in need. Sometimes it is hard for me to concentrate when my tummy is grumbling and my body is feeling faint - but as I try to teach my children - that is when you need to pray for strength to make it until our meal. I am at that point right now - so I'd better sign off. have a great week!

Introduction

Well, I guess I should maybe introduce myself a little bit. Even if you think you know me well, you just might learn something new here..... we shall see.

I am 46 years old. I was raised by goodly parents and if you recognize that description then you have at least read the first verse in the Book Of Mormon! If you don't recognize the verse then I highly recommend the book!
I have one sister who is 2 1/2 years my senior. She matured way quicker than I and so we were probably more like 4 years apart in interests and hobbies - hers being boys (both interests and hobbies), mine being stuffed animals, riding bikes, playing games, playing cowboys & indians, searching for treasure in the school playground stumps and hunting snakes. I know it sounds like I had a much better childhood than my sister, but that is just the way it worked out - she read books and 17 magazine and I played with my good friends; JK, PS & KH. I had a dream of a childhood - we lived on the same street as the elementary school. JK lived just a few houses up the street, PS about a mile away through the school grounds and KH - I had to go through the 4H club and across a major road (it had a light and crosswalk) to get to her house. We spent most of the time at the school playground. Even when I went to KH's house, I don't think I had to clear it with my mom, just told her where I'd be and that was okay. We knew to come home when we heard my dad whistle for us.
We moved away from paradise in my 6th grade year. I had 2 miserable months at a new school then started junior high knowing pretty much no-one. But I made a couple good friends and was in the band and choir. I switched to a different High School (where my dad taught), so I didn't know too many people at the new school - except those from my ward. I met a cute boy - DT- at an activity right before my 14th birthday and we were on and off boyfriend/girlfriend for the next almost 2 years. I also met my best friend SH in marching band. We spent most of our free time together doing fun stuff with other youth from church. I never did swim in her pool - but probably because it was never cleaned out or heated so it wasn't any different than swimming in a local pond. I ended up working for her dad who was a veterinarian all through high school. I would go to seminary (everyday for 4 years!), go back home to eat breakfast, pick up my dad, go to school, go to work, pick up my dad, go home for dinner. I drove his Datsun (forerunner of the Nissan), red truck until my grandparents gave me their VW bug in my senior year. They had purchased it in Germany the year I was born.
I was blessed to know all 4 of my grandparents. My dad's parents lived in SoCal, and we would visit them almost every summer. Grandpa passed away in 1983 right before I started my freshman year at BYU. Grandma passed away about 10 years later (I'll have to check that). My mother's parents lived down the street from us when we moved in my 6th grade year (it was only a few miles before that). Grandmother passed away in 1983 the day after I got home from my first semester at college. Grandfather passed away just 7 years ago, right before his 99th birthday.
I was on the hunt at college to find a husband. I didn't really have the desire to further my education, but I ended up going there for 2 1/2 years before deciding to serve a mission for my church. I had always said there was NO way I would go on a mission, but I felt strongly that I did want to go right before my 21st birthday. I was called and went to Sweden. I loved every minute, even the times that we were called the children of the devil and the winter I slipped and fell almost 10 times a day.
I got back, worked through a semester and then went again for one more semester. That summer, on the 4th of July, my sister and a friend set up a bbq/fireworks party with some friends and invited me and my parents. Well, the friend had a brother, and the brother and I talked a little. This brother - JS - called me the next day to ask me out on a date and that is a whole other story. But we were engaged 2 months later and married 2 months after that. I wouldn't recommend that short of an acquaintance for most people, but it has worked for us. We discussed having 6 children - I wanted all boys and I wanted them before I was 35. Since I was almost 24 when we got married, we had 11 years to make it happen. Well - that was not in Heavenly Father's plans. CM was born 1 yr. 3 mos after we got married, VP - 3 years 3 mos after that. Then nothing...... until 11 years 3 mos our little AR surprised us. We thought it was the end, but NG came 4 years 3 mos after. We are so blessed with each of our children and we have learned so much from each other. We are glad to be a family of 6. CM left on a mission 2 years ago and will return in 3 days. VP will be leaving us for BYU-I in January, so if CM sticks around until then, we will have a full-house which we are not accustomed to, but will enjoy.

Sleepless nights

This has been on my mind lately because it is a way of life for our family the last month. Our 2 year old has never been a great sleeper and so a full-night's sleep has not been a reality the last couple of years. I don't know if it is my age, temperament or just being human - but I don't do well without a restful sleep, let alone without that for multiple days in a row. Thankfully I have a husband who will share middle of the night duty and probably does more than his share in that department. (probably because he knows what I am like when I am exhausted.)

When I was a young girl (no, this is not a diversion), I used to get nightmares frequently. At least I think they were frequent but they were vivid. I remember some of them to this day - yuck. Anyway, I had faith that if I were to pray before going to bed, then I wouldn't have bad dreams. I remember noticing that it really worked that way. Well, sometimes when I forgot to pray, I might not have a bad dream, but I know that when I prayed - that night I did not have them. Subsequently, our AR also has bad dreams and it works for her too!

Well, with this last month being such a poor sleeping time, I have been praying (with faith) for a good night's sleep. Parying that NG will sleep and that JS and I will get the sleep we need to function properly the next day. Interestingly, my prayers were not answered in the way I so desperately wanted them to be. BUT, we were given the energy and ability to do what is required of us throughout the day; JS drove safely to and from work, I could do what needed to be done around the house and I didn't lose my patience nearly as much as I would have if I wasn't so relying on Heavenly Father's intervention. Just as the people of Alma who prayed to have their burdens lifted. Their answer was not what they were expecting or really wanted (to have their trials taken away) but instead they were able to handle their trials, even when they got worse.

So that is what has been on my mind lately. I am just glad that I know where I can find strength when I can't get it from myself (which is most of the time!)

OH, and one last thing - our CM comes home from his mission in 3 days, 7 hours and 3 minutes!!! Can't wait for that reunion.

A name?

I have always thought myself clever when filling out forms and come to the question “Employment” - Domestic Engineer and “Employer” –Self. Well, when starting this new blog I figured I’d have it made to do domesticengineer (taken) domesticengineering (taken) and even domesticengineering101 (also taken). So I used a thesaurus for engineer and found ‘architect’. Since it has been at the back of my mind since 7^th grade that I would like to be an architect, I took on domesticarchitect instead.

So many times you hear the description “Full-time Mom” or “Stay-at-home Mom”. First, the “full-time mom”. Isn’t anyone who is a mom at it full-time? Whether she works, “stays home” (we’ll dissect that later), is holding her first child for the very first time or is an empty-nester with 47 great-grandchildren. When a mom is a mom there is no part-time or half-time. You may not be around them 24/7 (and who wants to be anyway-we do have to sleep or try to), but you are still their mother full-time. Second: the false advertising of “Stay-at-home Mom”. Unless you are physically incapable of leaving your home, there is no way that a mom these days stays at home. I like to think that we are home when the rest of, (or majority of), the family is home, but come on. We do not sit around eating bonbons watching TV all day long, just waiting with bated breath for another human being to walk through the door. No, you’ve heard the definition of “Mother”; taxi driver, nurse, accountant, referee, etc., etc. Yes, we might (because I fall under this category) be home a lot, stay home during the day when most of the world is working for a salary at an office or on the road. But my full-time “job” is my family – my employer is my family. Whether I have no children, 2 children or 20+, all my energies go into making my house a home and a haven for my family and whomever else would like to darken (or better yet, lighten) our door. That is why I picked up on the word domestic engineer/architect. I am a home-builder, -creator and -designer. That is not to say that those women who have children and families who work for a salary from some outside source don’t do these things, it’s just that I do that all the time (and don’t receive a salary for it, darn).

So, welcome to my world of a Domestic Architect. I don’t have a clear definition yet what I will write or how often I will write. I do have another blog that is more my family’s journal. But since my family is my ‘job’ I will probably write a lot here about things I have learned, would like to learn and am in the process of learning about being a Mom. I never mean to offend anyone, but sometimes the way I word things may come across as being judgmental. That is NOT my objective. I do not have my mother’s and oldest daughter’s gift of words. Unfortunately that skipped the generation which is myself. I just have opinions and they are centered on the way I look at life and deal with certain situations. I have a very clear understanding that one person does things one way and another does it another way. We all have to get there on our own and in our own way. But sometimes what one person says will help another understand something in a different light. That is what my objective is; not to harm, but to help. (That is if I ever get into sharing any deep thoughts or feelings).

Ok, I’m blabbering. So I guess it is time to go eat some lunch. – Oh, any thoughts on what I can title my blog? My address is domesticarchitect, but I need a better title to put on my header. That is if anyone is out there reading this. Maybe I’ll ask my more talented mother and daughter…………..

Have a GREAT day!