A Wedding in the Family

Well, I just re-read previous posts from September and January. First off, we didn't stay a household of 4 very long. In October our niece BK moved in as she got a nanny job close to our home. It was nice to have another body in the house after it feeling so empty - but she is a very quiet person, so we didn't really notice her when she was home - she wasn't a lot as her fiance lives in the next town over. She was here enough to have NG calling her the "sister-cousin". 

For Christmas we decided to go to Utah since that is where CM/MA and VP were living.

CM joined the army reserves in October (?) and was going away to Basic Training in January. We won't see him until August or after. We had a great time there with all of them - we also met VP's boyfriend JD at that time. We didn't spend a lot of time with them, but were able to see how happy VP is and that they are good for each other. One thing that has happened in the last couple of years is that we have some really really close friends who have moved away. Luckily a couple have moved to Utah, so we were able to visit with them. AR spent one whole day with her good friend TW - they ended the day with coming and caroling at CM's apt. We all had crowded into their 2 bedroom apartment for the week. It worked out well, but it was a little squishy.

Long about the end of January we got a call from VP telling us that she and JD were engaged! Our biggest hesitation (which unfortunately came across to VP right away) was that we didn't know him - and hadn't seen their relationship grow, so we couldn't get all jumpy-up and down - happy for them. But that hesitation was overcome and we are genuinely happy for the two of them. They were married last week in Taylorsville - in JD's grandparents home. VP looked so happy and beautiful. She insisted on not doing anything for the wedding. Well, being long distance and knowing that you just can't do 'nothing" when 2 or more people 



gather for a celebration - I was very frustrated. I knew that there would be food involved, pictures to take and chairs to set up. The in-laws were very gracious and everything turned out beautifully. They have taken VP into their hearts and love her like she deserves. JD and she are really cute together - it was very comforting to meet them and get that from them. It was a 'small' wedding - only 25 people there. That was just the immediate family. We really did miss CM, though.

Since VP didn't want to "do anything", I hesitated on one thing for a moment - at the last minute (literally), I detached the back part of the veil from my wedding attire and stuck it in the suitcase. Her dress was an antique white (I would call it almost peachy), so I wasn't sure how the white veil would look. Well..... she decided to wear it!! The stitching had aged so it looked almost the same color as the dress, and there were little pearls on it, so those matched her necklace and bracelet. She really did look radiant. 

 











We look forward to getting to know our new SIL and seeing their relationship grow and all the wonderful things that will come to them in their marriage!

New Mexico????

Well, JS and I have been contemplating (praying, fasting, studying, exploring) a possible move - really a move, not just a new house in the same ward/school/neighborhood. In the 24 years since we've been married, we have lived in 13 different homes - 5 wards and 2 different school districts (besides the year VP attended Kindergarten at Easton instead of Snoqualmie Valley but that was not because of a move). In the last almost 14 years we have lived in 6 houses (same ward and schools). This move will be most likely to another state!  
Last fall, JS closed down his office of 10+ years and business of 25 years - mostly due to economic hardships. He went into something completely different than Hearing Aids. A job was pretty much given to him from a friend who was making a similar move - into a recycling company in their ebay department. JS ended up staying on and running the department of reselling the electronic equipment that came in to the warehouse. While this is all happening, he has been putting his feelers out for hearing aid jobs elsewhere. One company in Roswell, NM contacted him after receiving his resume. He also heard of an opening in Kalispell, MT. After visiting both places, we have decided to go ahead and seriously look at the Roswell job. Of course after making that decision, he has been contacted by at least 3 other places. So, we aren't decided for sure, but it is very likely that in the next couple/few months we will be moving from here.

 I am not all that excited about leaving my home of 48 years. But, I am open to doing what Heavenly Father wants for our family. I know He will bless me to be able to 'handle' a new way of life. After visiting Roswell, I realized that if that is our final destination I will need a LOT of help. Pretty much everything about the town is the complete opposite to what I am used to in my home state. I realize that hardly anywhere in the world has the same kind of climate that I am used to here.

JS made me take this to prove there is some greenery
 (it is along the Rio Grande)

There it is HOT and DRY and there are no mountains very close, hardly any trees and essentially everyone has no lawn in their yard. I know the extreme heat is only 2-3 months in the summertime. I am actually looking forward to the median temperature being not very cold in the winter (a handful of days is below 40). There are some nice things about it - small town, JS's commute will be no longer than 10 minutes depending on where we find a house (as little as 3 mins), etc. 

 I am trying hard not to sound negative, but there are so many sarcastic things I can say (and do) that I really say in jest. Roswell is known for aliens - so that may be interesting to explore. I am a person who loves greenery, but don't have a green thumb in any way, shape or form - so I won't feel guilty about not being able to grow anything. I will miss a varied horizon - or close up horizon of the tree in front of you.

But, then again - we may find ourselves in a completely different part of the country. 

We shall see - or better said - 

to be continued.........

Thoughts on parenting.

I have a lot on my mind - time to think, but no time to put on 'paper'. First things first. I would normally start out saying, I hope this makes sense, but hopefully I get around to editing before publishing - thus taking out or changing things to have them make sense. But then again, it's me and sometimes it sounds good until I hit the SEND button. 

Being that I have the priviledge that not too many people have (although I'm finding more and more families like ours), to raise almost to adulthood 2 wonderful children before starting in on raising 2 other wonderful children, I have had a lot to contemplate about parenting. I had an 'ahah' moment the other day while trying to find something uplifting to watch while doing a mindless task (not laundry, but mindless just the same). Really hard to find, btw.

I settled on a talk show and the topic was raising children who are different than what the parent expected. (only watched for 5 minutes) There were 5 - one child was deaf, one was a child who had committed horrible crimes, one was dyslexic I think,  one family was 'normal-size' and had a child who was a dwarf and I can't think of the other. The person interviewed was a reporter who did a story on parents raising a deaf child said he found that there is actually a deaf community and culture - in his words "not one that I chose to embrace, but a culture non-the-less" WHAT??? He had to make that stipulation, that it was viable, even tho he chose not to embrace it? yes, of course there is a deaf culture - as he put it, deaf poetry, deaf literature, etc, etc. This is all leading somewhere - but it may be long in getting my thoughts out. Well, as one would expect - the reporter is also gay. (That  is what he means by "not one I choose to embrace". That his 'culture' is viable - even if some choose not to embrace it.) That may be the other set of parents they were highlighting - straight with a gay child. Anyway, his comments led me to assume a lot of things, but they are taken in context with an explanation set forth in a blog by a gay man who has chosen a different way to live his life than this reporter. The reporter said that his parents tried to 'fix' him, and he even at one point wanted to become straight. He went to counseling and tried to change himself. He said "I wanted to have a family and children, and I thought that was the only way to achieve this goal. Well, I decided that I couldn't change and guess what?!? I have a family and children!" I am not questioning the viability of his affections towards his family. I don't know anything other than what he said in the 3 minutes I listened to him. I do know that this is what the world is saying - that you can follow your urges - you aren't wrong, just different and different is ok, not need to change for anyone, be yourself for your own happiness that is what  matters most. Unfortunately the world is the only resource that most parents and people have to turn to for help.....(does 'blown about by every wind of doctrine' mean anything yet?)

Now, I'm not going to quote the blogger, but I remember a lot of what he said, so I will paraphrase. He is a gay man who was raised in a family who are members of the Church. They obviously knew and lived their lives in accordance to the pure teachings of Jesus Christ. His parents never criticized him or tried to change him. They loved him. They also taught him the gospel and things not only about this life but the next. His best friend (a girl) also supported him and had many long and deep conversations about his preferences. He had a strong testimony of God, God's love, the Plan of Salvation and about Eternal Life. He also wanted to have a family and children. He knows that the only way to have these blessings is by following God's Plan. (See Proclamation on the Family at lds.org) He BELIEVED these eternal principles. He has a wife (his best friend) and children. He has a loving family. He still is gay, but he understands the things of the gospel-of eternity. 

NOW, this got me thinking - have I raised my children - am I raising my children with these key parenting ingredients? That God loves them, that they can reach their full potential by following God's plan? I think that is essentially what parenting comes down to. Of course there are little things - do I teach them to be good people, to be responsible, to be self-sufficient, etc etc. But if they don't have that underlying knowledge of the Love of Heavenly Father and that anything can be overcome with the Atonement - then I haven't taught them anything but how to exist and get by in this world. 

This last year has seen a lot of changes in our family. CM & MA tried a couple different employment paths and they are now headed in a direction different than they thought 12/9/6 months ago. CM is just about to start basic training for the Army Reserves and MA is in pre-nursing ready to apply to nursing school at the end of this semester (I think). VP had a rough start to her year, then got up again and headed in a different direction than she thought 9 months ago. It would be easy for me to say "why don't they just finish what they start - they keep changing direction" but in the end, it doesn't matter - as long as they are strong with their testimony of the Atonement. They won't go wrong with that foundation. Struggles will come, change will come, success will come, but all this is what life is all about. 

I am no expert and I certainly hope that in spite of my many shortcomings, our children will turn out okay. Also, this morning, my visiting teacher GB gave me an example from her family that one of her daughters is a professional of some kind. She is very close to her family and there for her children. Either another daughter or someone they know is a "stay-at-home" mom and isn't there for the children and family. (not saying that the only way to have a successful family with well-adjusted children is to have a SAH mom. I'm not as narrow-minded as that). There is no set way to do things, step-by-step. It all has to do with the attitude and desire to do what is right.

Before I start to babble - I'm going to end this. No real conclusion because I can't think of one - unless I already concluded and I've lost my train of thought.